Zoo Station by Christiane F

Author:Christiane F
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Zest
Published: 2012-10-23T00:00:00+00:00

I WAS TERRIFIED ABOUT BECOMING physically addicted again. But when Detlef was doped up and I was sober, there was no connection between us. We were like strangers. That's why I started shooting up with Detlef again. And yet while we were driving the needles into our arms, we kept telling ourselves that we would never fall back into our old ways ever again. Once again, we convinced ourselves that we weren't addicted and could stop whenever we wanted—while at the same time, we were frantically making sure that we'd have enough dope left over for the morning.

The whole fucking cycle started up all over again. Strangely, even though we'd been through it all before, we couldn't tell just how badly we were in deep shit again because of our delusion that now we had things under control.

Just like before, at first, Detlef was the only one working Zoo Station. It wasn't very long, however, before I joined him there. Things went well at the beginning though. I ran into a lot of my old regulars, and so the jobs weren't too revolting.

On the first day that I was back on the streets, Detlef took me along to meet this new guy, Jürgen. Jürgen was pretty well-known in the Berlin business world. He was loaded and lunched with senators—so he was very well connected—and even though he was over thirty, he still seemed kind of young. He talked the way we talked and seemed to understand the issues we were dealing with. He wasn't just your ordinary businessman or your usual stuffy manager type.

So this was my first time in Jürgen's apartment. When we got there, there were about a dozen people. They were all gathered around a giant wooden table that had candles in silver holders and expensive bottles of wine. Everyone was relaxed, and the conversation seemed to be flowing easily. It was immediately apparent that these people were pretty smart. Jürgen was leading the discussion, and I thought, man, this guy is sharp. It was also hard to ignore the fact that he was living in such an amazing apartment, packed with first-class stuff. And despite everything, he was still so laid-back, easygoing, and generous.

We were treated like we really belonged—despite the fact that we were obviously the only junkies there. After a little small talk, one of the couples asked if they could go take a shower. Jürgen said, “Of course, what else are they here for?”

The showers were right next to the living room. The first couple went in, and a few other people followed after them. A short while later, they came back in, naked and asking about towels. It seemed like a pretty cool environment to me, where everyone seemed to get along with everybody else and be up for anything. I felt like Detlef and I could live like this someday, in a first-class apartment, and invite totally cool friends like this.

A few people were already naked or with just small towels around their waists, and they were walking around and touching each other and starting to make out.

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